Birkenstock-wearing
glamour girl and mother of two by immaculate conception, Daisy Harris still
isn't sure if she writes erotica. Her romances start out innocently enough.
However, her characters behave like complete sluts. Much to Miss Harris's
dismay the sex tends to get completely out of hand.
She writes
about fantastical creatures and about young men getting their freak on, and
she's never missed an episode of The Walking Dead
Daisy will be awarding a large-size dildo, a scented penis candle, as well as a
$20 gift certificate to the winner’s choice of Barnes and Noble or Amazon to a
randomly drawn commenter during the tour.
Coming of Age—In Bed
First off, thank you so much, ladies of (name of blog) for
hosting me today! I’m sure we’ll all have a blast. J
So, I wrote a book. It’s called My Fair Dork.
(Actually, I’ve written a lot of books, but My Fair Dork
is the one we’re going to be talking about today.)
My Fair Dork is a coming of age story. In fact, it
may be the most dead-on coming of age story in the entire Men of Holsum College
series. Sure, all Holsum College tales involve young guys learning about
themselves as they find love. But in a romance, the love takes center stage,
whereas in a true coming of age tale, the story is all about the hero.
Take Harry Potter—it’s not about Ginny Weasley. That
chick could have been anyone. And honestly, I always wished Harry had wound up
with Luna Lovegood, and Ginny had hooked up with Neville. But regardless of how
you wish the Harry Potter kids had paired off, the fact remains: the series is
about HARRY POTTER.
And, like My Fair Dork, Harry Potter is all
about a boy and his wand.
Okay, fine…maybe I’m taking it a bit far to read a sexual
subtext into Harry Potter. And I apologize if I’ve offended anyone. But
really, a wand is a symbol for power. More specifically, a symbol for
channeling, controlling and amplifying one’s power.
So to say that Harry Potter, like all male coming of
age stories, is about a guy and his relationship with his penis, is not completely
farfetched.
Stories of boys becoming men as they grapple with their
sexuality abound—some of them more obvious about the subtext than others. You
have movies like American Pie, The Sure Thing, and Weird Science, where the message was crystal clear. And then there
are movies where the message is more hidden—like Teen Wolf, Can’t Buy Me Love,
and (the aptly and double-entendre-ly named) How to Train Your Dragon.
I’ve gotta say, my favorite of all of these was Weird Science. What a great flick that
was! The message of “emerging sexuality means power, but power you must learn
to control if you’re to grow into a man” was so amazingly drawn. Besides—Barbie
Doll as a phallic image? WIN!
With My Fair Dork, I was faced with the challenge of
making it both a love story and also a coming of age story. So my hero, Harold,
must reconcile with two different lovers—Owen, his co-hero, but also his
enormous penis.
See, Harold feels overwhelmed by his size, and unable to
handle the power he’s got going between his legs. But in order for him to win
his gentleman love, he must tame the beast. (Slay the dragon, wield his wand,
draw his sword, conquer the snake… Insert euphemistic penis expression here.)
So in the end, My Fair Dork is a love story on two
fronts. On the one hand, Harold falls in love with Owen. But on the other, he
learns to love himself.
And in the end, that’s what a coming-of-age story is all
about.
Blurb:
They say a guy can never be too hung. Well, Harold Jacobs doesn’t know
who they are, but they’re wrong. Socially awkward for as long as he can
remember, Harold feels his enormous package is just one more thing to be
embarrassed about. Especially once hunky and popular
Owen McKenzie notices it in the showers.
Owen knows he’s bi, but he keeps that secret close to his chest. He
likes Harold, and wants to help him shed his dorky image and maybe even find a
boyfriend. Still, Owen can’t stop obsessing about Harold’s equipment. And much
as he doesn’t want to flip-flop on his sexuality, Owen does want to test-drive
what Harold has between his legs.
Their friendship erupts into full-blown lust. But can Owen accept the
loss of his golden child status and be Harold’s boyfriend? And can Harold
outgrow his insecurity in time to keep the man he loves?
“I
was born in England. But I moved here when I was nine.” It had been too late to
change Harold’s name to something more normal. But his mom seemed to think the
move had been a good idea. She hated her ex-husband, Harold’s dad. And,
apparently, she hadn’t been happy until there was an entire ocean between them.
“Wow.
So you’re foreign? You don’t have an accent.” Owen sounded impressed, or maybe
hopeful. Like Harold would pull out a smooth, James Bond burr and a tuxedo to
match.
“I
spoke with one when I first moved. But…” He shrugged. All the kids had made fun
of how he talked when he started fourth grade. They thought he sounded posh.
Some even said, “gay”. Harold didn’t know how an entire country—and all its
former colonies—could be gay based on an accent. How would they make little
baby Brits?
Of
course, maybe the gay thing had bothered him more because at that age, he’d
already realized he was.
“Too
bad. Girls love a guy with an accent.”
Harold
coughed, spraying a couple droplets of tea across his scone. He cleared his
throat, trying to recover. “Don’t think we have to worry much about that.”
Owen
paused his assault on his eggs and looked up. His blue bell eyes were wide and
confused. “What? Why?”
It
felt surprisingly good to know something Owen didn’t. But it was silly, really.
Harold figured everyone knew. “I’m gay.”
“Oh.”
Owen did a double take, and raked his eyes over Harold’s clothes once again.
Harold
guessed that Owen had to re-arrange his opinion of Harold’s clothes now that he
had to match them up with a different sexual preference.
“Wow.
It’s worse than I thought.” Owen stabbed a sausage and bit off half.
“What?”
Harold looked down at his shirt, wondering if he’d managed to spatter tea on
himself during his sputtering. No. It was clean.
“Aren’t
gay guys supposed to be all stylish and hip?” Owen smiled as he said it—making
it sound like he was flirting, or at least teasing.
Harold
frowned. “Of course. And we all have lisps, and tiny dogs we spoil.”
Owen’s
forehead creased in the middle, as if he wasn’t sure whether Harold was joking.
“Nah.” He ate the other half of his sausage, and then picked up another. “I
know that’s not true.”
Good
lord. Harold closed his eyes and pinched his lips together to stop himself from
laughing. Owen was so…he didn’t even know how to describe it. It was an
optimistic innocence Harold had heard about but never seen in real life. Maybe
it was a Midwestern thing.
“This
guy I knew from the football team, Tank, he’s gay. And he isn’t like that at
all.” Owen thought about it for a moment, staring past Harold’s shoulder to
look off into space. “Though I could see him with a dog.”
Harold
wasn’t sure whether he was being serious or joking. But since Owen was so
earnest most of the time, he guessed Tank guy was the kind to pamper a
Chihuahua.
Thanks for having me on the blog today, Kristabel!
ReplyDeleteReaders, how are you doing this fine Friday? How are the folks who were in the path of Sandy??
If you were in the path of Sandy and are still struggling—let me know. I'l give you the free Holsum College of your choice.
Thank you for hosting today ... sorry I'm so late!
ReplyDeleteI think the world's first compulsively readable college thesis could be written about this topic. (And I *have* seen articles that mention Harry and his "wand" as a sexual metaphor, actually...)
ReplyDeletevitajex(at)aol(dot)com
It is like a college thesis, isn't it? The many shades of peen. :)
DeleteDaisy...I was wondering how you were going to sustain that comparison between your fellas and Harry Potter. Too funny!
ReplyDeletecatherinelee100 at gmail dot com
I wish I were back in college so I could write a senior thesis about how all coming of age stories were really about boys and their penises. Alas. Youth is wasted on the young.
DeleteThat would be a great thesis to read. Btw, I too loved Weird Science! such a great, coming of age story, that I probably watched way too young, lol.
ReplyDeleteJune
manning_J2004 at yahoo dot com
Oh, my kids are 7 and 10 and have seen Weird Science. It's a little racy, but the take home message is really sweet.
Delete